Sometimes when you listen to music things start popping into your head. You imagine your life as if there was a soundtrack for different situations depending on the music. You may imagine yourself beating the shit out of someone if you listening to heavy metal, or running towards your love one if the music is a ballad, or dancing if you one of those people that like disco, or having sex. Although in sex we can have different genres of soundtracks, Something slow to make some love, something funny to have just plain and ordinary sex, and something aggressive to have hardcore sex.
So checking my music archive i tried to discover the best musics to have sex with. So here it goes:
(i tried to find the music on youtube for streaming, most of them are live, studio quality is way better.)
1: 101a - Sex Slave
2: Nouvelle Vague - To drunk to fuck
3: dEUS - What We Talk About (When We Talk About Love)
4: Placebo - Post Blue
5: Nine Inch Nails - Closer
6: Peeping Tom - Sucker (Feat Norah Jones)
7: She wants Revenge - Tear you apart
8: Death From Above 1979 - Romantic Rights
9: The Stooges - I wanna be your dog
10: Deftones - MX
Sex Soundtrack
There is another world...
Everybody sees the world the same way, of course we can think about the things we see differently, but that doesn't changes the fact that what we see is equal. For example, you see a bird, for you it might be a seagull, for me its just a bird, but the fact is, what we both seeing is a flying animal that we call bird.
Now when drunk, everything is different, we see a second world inside this one, our own private world. It doesn't matter if we see things the same way then others, fact is, it isn't. Is seeing the world in different shapes and forms a thing we should escape? Well, sure, if you driving, but come on! This world is actually more beautiful when we see it with alcohol in our blood. I know that being addicted to such things might cause some problems, but i don't know that world, that is another world inside the another world.
So, with this in mind, i decided to give you a little tour of my drunken world, but before that i must say that I am not drunk right now, so it's kinda hard to show that world, but if i was drunk it would be kinda hard to tell you about it.
And as i said before, it doesn't matter if the things i saw are equal to others. It's my mind, It's my vision, It's my world not yours.
In my world, watching Artificial Lights is like we could touch the sun. In this world, no matter what time of the day you at, is always night. Bad music is funny music, and good music is divinity. In this world there are no scary movies, every movie created is a comedy. The Toilet is an artifact, one of the most precious thing's created, before alcohol itself. Bad people, for example, those who want to steal from you, aren't in fact bad, they are just misunderstood. There are worries ,but not as much as in the real world, for example, "where's my drink at?" or "do i have money for another drink and for a taxi to drive me home?" or "where's the toilet i need to throw up?". Every sentence you say is poetry and every idea is a "mind-fuck", there's no philosophy only "mind-fuck's". Almost every girl is pretty, even if they aren't, and sometimes you know that they aren't but who cares? you drunk! Unknown people are you're friends and you're friends are you family and your family is your foe. Outsiders (people that are not drunk) are the designated drivers. And for every action there are no consequences. A bear (or whatever you drink) is not expensive, even if it is, drinks are a cheap so there's no problem on paying a round of drinks for you and your friends. And when you go to sleep is like flying to paradise where your dreams are hell. Sometimes, and only sometimes, this "another world" leaves no memories.
Come to think of it, being drunk is like a perfect society. Although is not perfect, it could be more, but, its awesome.
This post was made, not to entertain, this is a ode for the drink goddess (lol). It was made for those people that aren't certain if they should drink tonight, for those people, and for everyone that one day could be in that situation, i tell you, read this, and go drink.
By the way, every girl is pretty, but keep in mind that when you drunk you are ugly as fuck.
Peace
Kid's in this days
I remember when i was young, all i wanted to do was play with my friends, take a ride in my super cool bicycle, play some soccer, go out with chicks...
In this days all the kids care about is computer, mobile phones, Porn, to do what?
twitter? Hi5? Facebook ? jerk off?
Kid 's in this days prefer to send a text message to someone who is right next to it that actually talk to him...
It 's something like:
Dude, this is soooo cool.
And the other kid goes:
Ye dude, where are you?
And the first kid goes:
Dude i 'm in school
And the other kid:
No shitting? me too
And the first kid:
No way! Where?
And the other:
Right next to the locker room
The first:
No Fucking WAY!! ME TOO!!
And the other goes:
That's so cool
HELLO MORONS LOOK TO YOUR LEFT Or RIGHT OR WHATEVER....
THERE IS A WORLD IN HERE...
REAL PEOPLE TO TALK...
WAKE UP BASTARDS....
Earth 2.0
Imagine that our world is gone, and you were a god! As a god it would be your duty to make a new home for humanity , would you leave it exacly the way it is or would you change something?
Is our world perfect? No, it is not, maybe is perfect for the other living beings but not for us. Once watched a documentary that got in my head, the theme was about life after humanity is gone, and you know what i noticed? The world could be a lot better without us.
In order to make my new earth i would have to take in consideration our human condition, we are a self destructing mechanism,so , what would i do to change that? I'm a god, my duty is to create a new world, changing humanity it's not up to me, it's that other guy that has that power. Clearly the best thing would be to change Humans, but i cannot do that. Now, taking in consideration what we are, there's not a lot of things that i can do to change humanity way of life. I could disable fire, there would be no more weapons, bombs and whatever, the thing is, that we need fire for other things, so i cannot do that. Humanity is doomed wherever they are.
There would be rocks trees and oceans, but my world would be smaller than ours, we dont need all this space, i know resources are running low, but it's our fucking fault. I would create somesort of mechanism that when the tree is chopped off one would rise in the same place, faster than in this world, global warming would be no problem.
Also around Earth 2.0 i would create a shield so that every incoming asteroid would be destroyed before reaching the surface. Of course people would not be able to explore the moon or something, unless if i create a breach in that shield, a smaller one, to let people throw sattelite's and space shuttles. With this shield Earth 2.0 would be a safer place to live.
There would be a lot of continents but smaller enough to confused them with islands, but they would be closer to eachother, i believe that we need isolation, and also, inclusion.
Remember when i told you that humanity is doomed? If we take natural catrastophes out of the picture, we would still be doomed. Humanity is the only living beeing capable of creating it's own extincion, there's one thing though, that could prolong our life, that my friend's its weed! Im not a hippie, but i believe that smoking weed would prevent our destruction, and in this world there would be a lot of weed, and im hoping that humanity would not make it ilegal.
There's not a lot of things you can do to make living better, you can create a world full of resources or not, and it still would be hard to live, we could never find a perfect place, because we live on the destruction we create. To live in a perfect place our intelegence must be destroyed, and even then, we would be the weaker living being, so we would be doomed, but least, we would have the decency to say our extinction wasn't caused by own species.
Future Retro
What goes trough your mind when you think of retro technology? If you're a game type of guy/girl maybe Sega Genesis, Super Nintendo, Gameboy or even Spectrum. If not, maybe that old Pentium 300MHz or Apple III. In the future those will be antiques and not retroware.
Top 5 thing that you cannot say to the girl you are trying to score
last week i was on a toilet doing my stuff that i usually do in every morning, and something pop in to my mind...what are the thing that i cannot say to a girl while i'm trying to get laid?
I start to work on my new meaning of life...to know what it's all about!!
I start to arrange a date with 5 nice girls(one for every night of the week, i dont work on weekends), we talk and talk and talk and i knew that i was about to score...when something came out of my mouth and there was something like:
Top 5 Thing that you should say to a girl that you wanna score:
1. What do you thing about doing like the video 2 girls one cup?
2. Can i came in your mouth?
3. Do you like ass to mouth?
4. can we do it doggy style?
5. do you mind if i fart while we doing it?
Yup...it was a handsolo of a week...But all in name of the science...after all i got a B.A. in B.S
Just like Barney Stinson says: "“There are only two reasons to date a girl you've already dated: breast implants.”"
see you all later...maby
Toys Were Us
Once you were a kid. And now you are not. If this doesn't apply to you, you'll do not have to read this, maybe you could learn a thing or two but it isn't that necessary. When you were kid, everything little thing would fascinate you, keyboard buttons, small parts, mom's wonder-bra (come on! who hadn't look at those things and wondered "what a fuck is that?"), and so on. And i think our tastes were more accurate at that time, we could go had dinner in someone else's house and say "This food sucks!", well maybe not that way, but you could say what you like or not without offending someone. "Grandpa is bold!" right, try saying that now.
When you were a kid, since your tastes were so well defined, you knew what you wanted. And that thing were Toys! Kids had some sort of competition to see who has better toys, oh and if you had better toys, you were THE MAN! ( Don't know if the same principle applies to Barbies, my guess is that Barbie was the first Role Playing "Game" Created, Or Massive Role Playing "Game, if you played with others. I don't know, i don't see a point in having tea with ken near the horses). Toys, and Nintendo, if you had that, other kids would bow before you.
Now you are not a kid. And face it, being grown-up sucks! Every toy that you possessed is now obsolete, people will not bow before you if you have a lot of toys, at least, normal people. And from what i know is in our right to express our inner child, although, people forget this, and, sometimes, being childish is a bad thing. I don't agree with that one bit, Ok, its our right to express our inner child but is it a bad thing? Maybe it is, if you express you're inner child in fucked up situations, but if you are happy is your right to act like a kid. And its My Right to be able to buy some bloody toys.
Not saying that we are not able to buy toys, but imagine you in toy's r' us, you pick up a toy and go to the cashier to pay it, now, there you will start thinking " I must be so lame for buying this for me" but then you'll think " Ah no problem, the cashier will think that is for my little brother or something." but then you would start to wonder "Wait! Offering stuff doesn't evolve some kind of paper wrap, fuck that, that takes to long." and then you will think " Damn it! then the cashier will know that this is for me". It's common to hear people saying that they don't care what other people think, but that's not true is it? Here's a proof: Grown-Ups don't buy toys from them selfs. Yeah, you grew-up that's the same of saying that toys are to young for you, but why? Because you care what people think. Of course there are people that buy action figures, but they don't even open it! Why? Because Grown-Ups don't play with toys. And that is just wrong!
If i want to play with toys? Fuck, why not? But for some reason i don't, i too do care on what other people think, i guess. Maybe its just me wanting to be a kid again, moving away for your responsibilities, i know its tempting. And if you think about it playing with toys its not escaping your responsibilities, it's just a distraction, from your life. I think toys are cool, and if you see what kids have today, you would be amazed, of course in my time there were more toys, but, the few they have a pretty fucking cool.
So how can we buy a toy without being awkward about it, have a kid. I'm not saying that this is something that is happening in my life right now, unfortunately i don't have a kid, but i intend to, you could act like a kid again, and you're kid will not judge you, he will say to other friends that he's father play with him, and you will be THE MAN again.
Bottom line: I miss my micromacine's super van city!
Sniff :(
The elevator social protocol
Elevators are a place of human social interaction, a place to meet new people and make new friends or even meet the girl of your dreams. Sure this all sounds nice but most of the time being inside an elevator is an awkward moment, specially if there's someone else there and that person starts a convenience conversation with you, so my objective now is to show you the rules to avoid the elevator social protocol in a few easy steps.
1.As you enter inside the elevator, quickly check the people in there without being noticed. If someone do notice your checking them just look at you watch or something. (this step will be important later)
2.Inside the elevator just stand there looking forward with your back turned to everyone else.
3.If you sense that someone is trying to make visual contact with you, hold your position and look up or down (depending on how tall that someone is) as if you haven't noticed that person. Because that someone will try to start a convenience conversation.
4.If you managed to avoid any kind of contact during the first tow floors, then your safe through the rest of your trip.
5.You can now enjoy your way up or down in peace.
6.Now back to step one, the above steps may be exceeded if during step one you checked a hot chick inside the elevator. In this case you will be polite and say something to her (try to start your own convenience conversation). If she does not answer back it means she's avoiding the elevator social protocol, so all you have to do is to follow the steps.
7.If she does answer you back, well then you are on your own (good luck my friend).
This are some of the techniques you can use to walk away from awkward moments with strange people inside a small closed space. Specially those angry at anything old people who will take any opportunity to express their disappointment with the world. These are the kind of people that you really want to avoid, they can be real boring and give you a real awkward moment, cos if you do not agree with them they will make your elevator trip a living hell.
Top 7 Music Videos I Saw on Youtube
I'm not a youtube addict, I am a music addict, So, when I'm bored and for some reason I go to youtube, my main searches are Music and funny stuff, although, i never find funny stuff on my own, i can find pretty good music videos, some of them are official and some are not.
This post is about videos, but, it's also about music. Therefore Music Videos (dah!). The Main Genre of music is Post-Rock which i Love! And the videos they are mainly about destruction. So here are they, My top 6 music videos i saw on youtube. (Why 7? I only know this 7! )
1.Collapse Under The Empire - Find a place to be safe
2.God is an astronaut - Coda
3.Maybeshewill - Not for want of trying
4.Mr Bungle - Goodbye Sober Day
5.Losalios - Hit Man
6.Long Distance Calling - Jungfernflug
7.Melt-Banana - Monkey Man
The Top 5 Movies I Never Saw
How to rate something that I never saw? well,it's not that hard, I think, I mean we do it all the time, we see a cover of a book and say "Yeah! Futurist and Fantasy , kinda like Frodo meats Luke Skywalker... This book Is Awesome!", or we see a girl and say that she must be good in bed, and in the end you never bought the book and never asked that girl's number. How could you know that was good? We assume that it is because the outside appealed to us.
Have you ever wondered what were you're top 5 of the best movies you never saw? I know that in these days its hard to "never see" anything, cinema is cheap, We have television, we have Downloads (Yeah I know you watching!), we can see almost everything for free, the source is at our hands! Nevertheless there are those movies that you let escape, you might not remember thinking about it, but, sometimes you are at home and a trailer comes up and you think " Just remembered! I got see that movie". And there, there are other movies that you never saw ,but , people say "That movie is awesome" and you believe them, but, never really saw.
So I decided to make a top 5 about the movies that I never saw, it was a thought that blinked in my brain, and since I got nothing to do, I decided to make a blog out of it. Maybe some I watched in trailer and others people talked to me about them. Here are the Top 5 Movies that I never saw:
(kinda hard to know which ones)
1.The Last of the Mohicans (1992): I Gotta admit. I have this DVD on my DVD shelf and I never watched it, it wasn't borrowed, it wasn't a gift, I went to amazon and bought it, And I never watched it. So why is my number one Movie that I never saw? First, is directed by Michael Mann, and he has some pretty good movies except Miami Vice, didn't like that one, and the photography of the movies are pretty damn good; second Daniel Day Lewis starts on that one, he is a fucking good actor. It has a detail that I'm not very found of, American History its not one of my favourite subjects, nevertheless it must be good.
2.12 Angry Men (1957): I have a condition, I don't know if has a name or not, when I watch a old movie I feel scared, because, I start thinking that most of the people in that movie are dead, and somehow they are watching me seeing them in the movie. This movie is in this list because lotta of people told me that this was a great movie, and it must be is the 7th on the top 250 IMDb list
3.Shichinin no samurai/Seven Samurai (1957): Come on a Japanese movie with sword's and samurai, a nominated movie about samurai, Seven of them! It must be awesome! But the same rules apply, to fear old movies even Japanese ones, and mainly if it has samurai on it!
4.Inception (2010): For me Christopher Nolan is one of the best directors of our time, where did i ever saw a bad movie of him? Never that's when! And this one ,Inception, starts Leonardo Di Caprio which is a good actor, and that kid from the TV series "3rd rock from the sun" which I saw him recently in a movie called brick, pretty good acting I must say. And "What a fuck! They can enter people's dreams?!" this will be a movie that I wont forget to see. I have to see this one!
5.The Sandman (XXXX): This movie does not exist! There for I never saw. But it should exist! So we take a comic book by my favourite writer, Neil Gaimen, And we adapt it to cinema, the script must also be written by Neil Gaimen. Then we pick up Tim Burton and we make him it's director, i think that a Sandman movie should be made by Tim Burton's vision, and for that, we would need Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter. They could even make a trilogy out of it, and we would have another comic book adaptation in our cinemas. Neil Gaimen is the Tim Burton of books and Tim Burton is the Neil Gaimen of movies, and they both worked on movies and books. I know that maybe commercializing sandman could be dangerous, but I have most faith in it.
I must strike you has a guy who as nothing to do. It is true. I am, probably if I was occupied with something this entry would never exist. But I like to think about this crap every now and then, and today I thought "Why not write about it?!" So here it is, a little piece of my mind.